lighting never strikes twice
(this) left me wondering why
genius strikes ligting quick
with all the force of Vesuvias
the chalkboard scratches are scars of
purest silk, milky against the fading
green
schree - clawing at the winesoaked dirt
as it gathers in clumps under
my nails
she left me wondering why
she left so soon
with so many words miscarried
unborn children in a placebo womb
why can't one harness
the reasons for insanity
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
Thanks guys, and EBM I didn't even noticed I even rhymed.
cheers
CL
This *was* very interesting. Its different, kind of, from other poems. I don't really know what it is about it, but I liked it. Although the rhyming was sometimes pretty forced. The ending was so awesome, awesome, awesome.
It was an interesting poem, this one, but there were a few bits that I wasn't sure about:
It doesn't read very well, to me: it's the way both lines start the same way, but it doesn't see to make any point by being that way. It just sounds like an awkward sentance.I was confused here: firstly, I think it's spelt "scree" and that left me wondering whether you meant it as a reference to fingernails accross a blackboard (from the previous stanza) or just as the type of loose dirt and soil.
here, however, you got it just right:
I liked that as an ending, very abrupt, leaving the reader with a clever question to think about.
All in all, it made me think, which is always a good point in lyrical poetry. There are just a few spelling/choice of words issues. Overall, I like